I drank two cups of coffee today, black. We're out of creamer and I really hate coffee without doctoring it up. But I was desperate. It is Monday...and any caffeine is a necessity. Are you with me?
I realized something yesterday. Our life must seem really crazy to the outside world. Every where we go, people gasp and comment. "All of these are yours?" "I can't believe you all go out together." (What, am I supposed to leave half of them at home?) I imagine people feel sorry for us.
Thursday was a huge accomplishment for me. I took all four kids to Target, by myself. Yup, I feel my chin rising just a little as I type. So what if I had to grab one of those kid carrier carts, put one car seat in the top, one in the bottom, strap my toddlers into the seats on the back? Yeah, we had to open a package of iced animal crackers half way through the store (if I'm honest, Elli opened them on her own, but who's counting?). But we had no tantrums, no crying, not even one fight. I got all the items I needed (except one) and then we went to McDonalds to celebrate. Don't judge. Sometimes eating cheeseburgers and getting our crazy out at a fast food restaurant with a playplace is the best decision of the week. And its becoming weekly really. I was so proud. A whole trip to Target, a whole meal at McDonalds...and we all made it home in one piece.
Do you think people feel sorry for me?
This is but a moment in time. And we all know how unforgiving time is. The words are barely out of my mouth and they have grown and inch and surprise me by saying something much more mature than their age.
I have just this small moment to capture their attention, turn them toward Christ, teach them. I'm not wishing it away. I do look forward to the day when life seems a little easier. I say seems because I think that's just a myth. We'll just be trading car seats and crying for driving lessons and dating. I'll take the former, please.
So, ok I have no creamer. Drink it black. And when you see me in the store with four kids, don't wish these years away for me. Because I'm not. Don't feel sorry for me. I only have them for this moment. I chose them. I want them to know that. They weren't a mistake, a happenstance. God gave all of them to us, at the right time. I guess he thought four under four was ideal. And for us it is.