Saturday, November 15

Punishment?

My mom used to look me deep in the eyes (during times of rebellion) and say

"You know, your children are going to act like this someday and you'll get a taste of your own medicine."

And  I always thought "someday" meant I had at least 15 years.

HA!

My daughter is almost 10 months old now and I'm already seeing her rebellion.

Last week was probably the worst of it.

Halfway through our weekend, Matt looked at me during a moment of this previously stated rebellion and exclaimed

"I think she just sassed you!"

(And at that moment, I went from feeling like a frazzled, dramatic mother to...)

"Why yes, she did.  And she's been doing it all week."

I must admit, I haven't quite known how to handle it.  Do I spank, scold, a combination of the two?

I've landed on flicking her lips, which gets her attention immediately.

And allows me time to address her tantrum verbally.

But what about the...

arching her back on the changing table
swinging at me when i take something away
screaming at the top of her lungs when she doesn't approve

I'd love some insight on how you correct your children from a Christian perspective.


8 comments:

krissy said...

hmmm, can I use the "s" word on your site without being hunted down for abuse? I think you already did, so I'll risk it. :-)
I was giving a little swat on the leg for the rolling during changings buy nine months with both my kids. I feel your pain though, girls appear harder to convince that mommy is in charge. Also, I would definitely hold her little sweet cheeks in my hands and look right in her eyes when she screams in protest and say, "No, Anne, no aaahh" and mimik the sound she made with a little swat on the back if her hand. I'll never forget the first time I saw Vicki B. doing this. I was a teen and I thought it was so funny to hear her making baby screams! But it has worked well for my kids.
I have a... determined :-) little girl also and I'm realizing in retrospect that I avoid correction with her more than JP because of the potetial fit that will happen but that only makes her more strong-willed. I'm glad you had Matt to help you see it! Good luck and keep me posted if you find some other tip I should know!

ABOUT US said...

When Michael started protesting getting changed, I would hold his legs down and say "be still" until i could feel him stop struggling. I would do the same thing when he swings or tries to hit me for taking something away. I would hold his arms tight and say "no sir, no hitting". I am not oppsed to the lil' smack on the leg or hand if needed. :)

The Neals said...

thanks for your comments! i'm going to try both of those this weekend and see if i get some results. i did just have to swat her for throwing an absolute tantrum in her crib. and it seemed to work because she went fast to sleep. ugh! parenting is a drag sometimes! but i love her!

Lee and Candace said...

I've tried a couple of different things...I guess it varies for what type of action she is doing. Screaming - flick on the cheat, Tantrum - Isolation in her bed until she calms down. Swat on hand - Touching someting she's not supposed to. Swat on leg, etc. I was reading also it's good when you are correcting them to get them to look at you. I also after I correct Isabel have her "say" (she can say it yet, but she nods her head) "yes, mommy." I think you've got the right idea. I know the one thing I've read/head over and over again is to be consistent and sometimes I think this is the hardest part for me. Hope this helps.

Kimberly said...

I've been reading this with interest because of my bun in the oven and have been trying to pray and counsel with people about the best discipline, etc. I have appreciated reading your perspectives! Thank you for sharing.

Angie said...

Can we say Grandma Lu? Sounds like not only was Anne born on her birthday, it sounds like you've taken to her form of punishment too! Did you ever get "thumped", I sure did, and I never turned the TV channel again. Wait until she can talk back...example: when I count to 3 for Ty, he adds..."4,5,6,7,8,9, 10, mom I can count to 10!" Good Luck! When's then next one on the way?
P.S.we have to find a time to see you guys, give me a call.

krissy said...

I was thinking of you last night while I "helped" Dora through something.
This is for later but I think it's worth sharing: When Dora is throwing a fit or being stubborn, like picking her feet up off the ground when she doesn't want to go to bed, it is very helpful to discipline her once and then have her say, "I'm sorry mommy for not obeying. Will you forgive me?"
For a long time I didn't think she understood the concept so I would just keep fighting her and it went on forever, but the first time I tried going through the forgiveness process with her, it would break her almost every time. It's like she needs help being humbled but when I lead her in it, she's relieved for me to say, "I forgive you." and she will then obey.
Just a thought for later. :-)

The Talberts said...

Ha. I remember fights with my mom where she would scream, "I hope you have kids who make you just as miserable as you make me!" Which is similar to what your mom said, but sort of more psychotic. Also more of a curse than an observation.

Anyway.

I know this sounds like an answer out of a book or something, but I have noticed that all children require something different (that's what I've noticed with ours, anyway). I think the important thing (and someone else already said this) is to be consistent with each child.

I remember when I realized that I had suddenly gone from a mom of a sweet baby to a mom who needed to discipline. It was a "whoa" moment for sure.

I'll pray for wisdom for you and Matt as you raise your little girl.